On June 28, the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals lifted the stay preventing California from marrying same-sex couples. See our updated FAQ for Marriage for Same-Sex Couples in CA.
Nearly five years after California voters, through Prop. 8, stripped same-sex couples of their freedom to marry, the U.S. Supreme Court has restored that very same freedom on Wednesday, June 26. In Hollingsworth v. Perry, the Court ruled that opponents of marriage for same-sex couples lacked standing to appeal a decision that struck down Prop. 8. Meanwhile, in the ACLU’s case Windsor v. United States the Court struck down part of the Defense of Marriage Act, paving the way for married same-sex couples in California to receive all federal benefits, rights, and responsibilities.
What exactly do these decisions mean for same-sex couples who are either thinking about getting married in California or are already married and living in California?
The American Civil Liberties Union of California – along with Equality California, Lambda Legal, and the National Center for Lesbian Rights – has produced a handy guide that answers many of the practical questions emerging in the wake of the Court’s rulings. Our guide, Marriage for Same-Sex Couples in California: Frequently Asked Questions, covers topics including the logistics of marrying in California, protection against discrimination, and whether your marriage will be recognized by the federal government and outside of California.
Here is a brief glimpse at some of the questions the guide answers:
• When can same-sex couples start getting married again in California? • Will same-sex couples throughout the state be able to marry? • What do we have to do to marry in California? • Will domestic partnerships in California continue to exist? • If my partner and I are from another state and marry in California, will our marriage be valid in our home state? • If my partner and I married in another state, will California recognize our marriage? • Will the federal government recognize marriages of same-sex couples in California? • For same-sex couples in bi-national relationships, will getting married in California permit a non-U.S. citizen to gain legal permanent residence in the U.S.? • Can a private business – such as a florist, photographer, or event space – refuse to provide space or a service for me wedding because I am marrying a person of the same sex? • Can my employer deny my same-sex spouse the same employment benefits that different-sex spouses receive?
One note: This guide focuses on the questions facing same-sex couples contemplating marriage in California. There are several guides (and more coming!) that explain in more detail the federal changes that will occur in the wake of today’s Supreme Court ruling in United States v. Windsor. For more information, check After DOMA What It Means to You: ACLU Factsheets.
The ACLU/SC will be updating the guide as information emerges, so please check back for updates. Download the updated guide in PDF
Melissa Goodman is Senior Staff Attorney at the ACLU of Southern California

Two years ago, my best friend asked me to officiate at her wedding. It was an honor to play that special role in her life, and I loved doing it. But standing before the crowd, I was struck by the unfortunate irony of the situation: Even as I married my friend and her husband, I could not marry my own partner. I decided that hers would be the last wedding I attended until I had the freedom to have my own.
Now, I will have that chance. Today the United States Supreme Court held that California’s ban on marriages between same-sex couples is unconstitutional. In a separate ACLU case, the Court struck down part of the Defense of Marriage Act, allowing married same-sex couples to begin receiving federal benefits, now that the federal government will recognize those marriages.
People will pay lots of attention to the details of the Court’s opinion. As an attorney and the deputy executive director of the ACLU of Southern California, I could give my legal analysis. But instead, I want to tell you about what this day means for me personally, as an unmarried gay man in a relationship that has lasted longer than any our parents ever had.
Before the California Supreme Court ruled in May 2008 that same-sex couples have a right to marry, my partner and I didn’t think much about marriage. We grew up in Tennessee, where gay rights still languish. I spent years ignoring those commercials about saving two months’ salary for an engagement ring. Even after my partner, Lamont, and I moved to California in 2000, I didn’t daydream about proposals. Marriage never seemed like a possibility.
But after the release of the groundbreaking In re Marriages decision, I went from never thinking about marriage to not being able to get it off my mind. Marriage became an option. I asked around about the best wedding venues in southern California. I thought about what role our pets would play in a ceremony. Then, less than six months after the California Supreme Court granted me the freedom to marry, voters passed Proposition 8, taking away that right.
I still remember the passage of Proposition 8 in painful detail. Lamont and I gathered around the television. We watched the election returns trickle in. We witnessed the historic victory of our first black president. We stayed up late together, hoping to see the proposition’s defeat. By the early hours of the morning, however, the outcome was clear. I was shocked to see Californians enshrine discrimination into the state’s Constitution.
Living in Tennessee, I was accustomed to slurs about my sexual orientation. But California was supposed to be different. Crossing the state line on our move to the Golden State – our car filled with our belongings – Lamont and I listened as the Pet Shop Boys sang about how “life is peaceful there” in the song “Go West.” It seemed to herald a new kind of life. Sure, we were excited about “sun in wintertime,” but we also hoped California would be a place where we could celebrate fully our long-term relationship. The day Proposition 8 passed, I felt that hope dissolve.
Why didn’t we marry during the window in 2008 when marriage between same-sex couples was legal in California? In part, the decision was practical. With the Defense of Marriage Act in place, we would not be entitled to the federal tax benefits afforded other married couples. But there were also emotional reasons. Because marriage had not been a possibility for us before, we never really had enough time to discuss the idea. And the passage of Proposition 8 cut short our time to have that conversation.
The past five years have been long. They have been painful. But today, with the Supreme Court’s decision to restore the right to marry here, California is the state we hoped it would be when we first arrived. It is a state full of possibility.
Eighteen years have passed since my partner and I fell in love. Now I can finally go home and have a long talk with him about marriage.
James Gilliam is the Deputy Executive Director of the ACLU of Southern California